Are you worried that your son ranks second, third or tenth in the class or school in any exam but not 'first'? Do you want your child to be the topper and not a topper? Well...there is nothing wrong with that ambition. But remember, this aspiration comes with its own baggage of things good and bad...more bad than good for the following reasons.

 

 

In 2008, Toya Chatterjee, a student of Indian Institute of Technology (IIT), Kanpur committed suicide by hanging herself from the ceiling. Reason: a fourth year student, she had failed in her exams and could not face the humiliation of having to break the news to her parents, who had come to the campus to attend the convocation ceremony. 

 

Toya was a state board exam topper in West Bengal in 2002.

 

A topper is expected to hold on to the top slot, or near top slot, in every subsequent exam. Success breeds more expectations leading to the build-up of a massive performance anxiety. The sense of humiliation when faced with a minor failure could be gigantic.

 

Toya, for instance, failed in only 2 subjects and could have cleared them later. But the overwhelming sense of humiliation pushed her to choose her end. 

 

 

Press coverage of board examination successes borders on frenzy. This is matched only by the rise in top scores – 499/500, 798/800 and so on.

 

Cameras go clicking and toppers are made to express views on many things beyond their comprehension. (Questions may be as inane as ‘What is your solution to the problems of youth today?’) However, the media disengages from the topper quickly. The celebrity status is short-lived and unless the person tops in an exam again, the media never comes back. It is back to the academic grind again for the topper.

 

 

School-level toppers usually have only a vague notion of what they want to do. Their marks are so high across many subjects that they failed to indicate any particular interest. Many prefer proven success trails – IITs, engineering colleges, medicine, IIMs, etc without looking into themselves and finding their passions. 

 

Their decisions are steered more by standard 'acceptable' parameters of success. 

 

 

Any system, at school, state or country level, follows a code. Codes are meant to be cracked. Toppers know how to crack the codes a trifle better than others.

 

A topper may or may not have deep understanding of the subjects in which he has scored brilliantly. What is certain is that he is hardworking, is good at memorizing and knows the pattern of the questions, the nuances of answering questions in an exam.

 

Recently, a survey of toppers in 10th state board exam in Maharashtra showed that they fared very poorly in diagnostic tests that measured the depth of understanding in subjects. If diagnostic surveys were conducted elsewhere in India, the scenes may not be much different.

 

 

Employers appreciate consistency in academic performances or a steady improvement as one moves higher. If someone had topped in 10th class, but after that it has been a decline all through, it won’t reflect well on the person.

 

It is perhaps better to top in graduation or post-graduation rather than in school exams. 

 

 

• Offer unerring, but not overbearing support and encouragement. Don’t ever laud your ward for being 'the topper’, even if he or she is, in class exams. Diagnostic tests like ASSET offer percentile scores. Always praise the child for being in the top echelons. Be proud of high scores. That’s all.

• No comparisons please, certainly not with those your son or daughter take to be serious competitors in the class or school!

• Your child might aspire to be a ‘topper’, perhaps much against your wishes. That’s fine. Then encourage multiple interests and extra-curricular activities. These may help  keep their sanity in the final years of school that are bound to be a whirl of competitive examinations and specialized training. Sustained pressure, exerted from within or from outside, might goad them to do better. Countless cases of burnouts exist - bright students so accustomed to succeeding that the first indication of being outdone, or proven second-best, is enough to demolish whatever fuels their relentless pursuit of accomplishment.

• The demands on children have gone up steeply. A sharper distinction between the good and the not-good-enough, stronger sense of competitiveness, etc are all the norms of the day.  Encourage qualities that should define a topper: focus, dedication, hard work, disciplined approach to academics, etc. These are life skills, not to be looked at for merely topping an exam. When a disciplined, intelligent mind matures over time, you will see exemplary results.

Remember, for every success story, there are many failed dreams.